From Doing to Being
What 90 days off social media revealed about my identity, ambition, and union with God.
God has taken me down a journey of stillness, silence, and solitude over the last few years. Before these practices, I was finding my worth and identity in my doing over my being.
At first it came out of necessity. I was bivocational as a church planter and found myself working full time in theological education. I did that for four years. But even after, I was still teaching master’s and certificate courses along with serving as a doctoral mentor. I was traveling to speak, coaching pastors, podcasting, and authoring books. All while having three small kids. Instead of simplifying, I found myself adding commitments, saying yes when I would rather say no, even if that came at the price of my mental and physical health. So I have been on a slow journey of practing God’s gift of limitations to focus on my being and, more importantly, to be in loving union with God.
I started to evaluate all my commitments, and through the lens of Ignatian spirituality, I determined what gave me consolations and desolations.
One by one, I took a pause or closed out commitments. I found freedom. However, God had more for me.
It has been 90 days since I have been off of social media (kept my Substack but haven’t written much). Others began to see a change in me long before I recognized it in myself.
Mental Health: My mental health has improved. I am calmer and less anxious about the latest news from people, causes, and issues.
Presence: I am present. My focus is on the person in front of me instead of giving in to reaching for my phone with the ding of the latest notification.
Ego: My striving to self-promote in any way has shifted. It is easy to masquerade what my church, family, or latest accomplishments are to get a hit of dopamine.
Comparison: I am comparing myself less to others. I can celebrate what God is doing in someone’s life and ministry without making it about me.
Self-Worth: My self-worth is not based on likes or comments; it doesn’t matter if the world knows or doesn’t know, but I serve an audience of one.
God has been taking me deeper in dying to self. It is a lifelong process. This journey has changed the way I lead, interact with others, and, more importantly, how I love God.
Will I ever pick up some of the past responsibilities? Maybe, maybe not. Will I ever go back on social media? I honestly don’t know.
But in the meantime, I am on a journey to become more like Jesus today than yesterday.
I have read it multiple times... You can tell I am rereading it. Thanks, Mark!
I hesitate to suggest something for you to do as a response to this post, but if you haven't read The Emotionally Healthy Leader by Peter Scazzero, it would almost certainly help you extend your new mindset to those you influence. I read it when it first came out ~10 years ago and have taught its principles ever since. I have gotten more glowing response to this book than any other text I use.